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The book is in good condition with all pages and cover intact including the dust jacket if originally issued. The spine may show light wear. Pages may contain some notes or highlighting and there might be a From the library of label. Boxed set packaging shrink wrap or included media like CDs may be missing. The book is in good condition with all pages and cover intact including the dust jacket if originally issued. The spine may show light wear. Pages may contain some notes or highlighting and there might be a From the library of label. Boxed set packaging shrink wrap or included media like CDs may be missing. See less
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Images You Should Not Masturbate To Paperback – Illustrated, February 1, 2011

by Graham Johnson (Author), Rob Hibbert (Author)
4.2 out of 5 stars 1,857 ratings
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Choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, airing the orchid-whatever you call it, none of the images in this book will encourage the gentle art of self-pleasure. This deceptively simple and strangely addictive book presents a laugh-out-loud collection of random pictures virtually guaranteed to dampen the urge of even the strongest libido.
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  1. Print length
    80 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    TarcherPerigee
  4. Publication date
    February 1, 2011
  5. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.3 x 7 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    0399536493
  7. ISBN-13
    978-0399536496
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Graham Johnson is a creative director at M&C Saatchi Sydney.
Rob Hibbert is an internationally-awarded advertising copywriter from Melbourne, Australia.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ TarcherPerigee; Illustrated edition (February 1, 2011)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 80 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0399536493
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0399536496
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 2.31 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.3 x 7 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.2 out of 5 stars 1,857 ratings

About the authors

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  1. Rob Hibbert

    Rob Hibbert

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    Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

    Rob Hibbert is a "writer" from Melbourne responsible for the books Images You Should Not Masturbate To and Rejected Books. He's also to blame for the web series How to Talk Australians. His favourite fruit is Lasagne.

    See more on the author's page
  2. Graham Johnson

    Graham Johnson

    Brief content visible, double tap to read full content.
    Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

    After being rudely interrupted by a 30-year career in advertising, Graham is now writing books and producing products under the guise of the Elsewhere Trading Co.

    Graham has re-assessed his priorities and has realised that books that help those with an unhealthy preoccupation with the dark arts of self-love, figurines made of air and a timetable for a means of travel that doesn’t exist yet, are a far more useful contribution to society.

    The original products, prints and humorous collectables can be found at https://www.elsewheretrading.co

    The second contribution to the literary world in collaboration with Rob Hibbert is in production with Penguin New York and set to be released Fall 2022.

    Not quite a hermit yet, Graham has spent most of his life wanting to be Elsewhere.

    See more on the author's page
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Customer reviews

4.2 out of 5 stars
1,857 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book hilarious, particularly as a gag gift, and appreciate it as a perfect coffee table conversation starter. Moreover, the book receives positive feedback for its value, with one customer noting it's an excellent addition to any coffee table book stack. However, the picture quality and content receive mixed reviews, with some praising the brilliant combination of art while others find the images and content disappointing. Additionally, several customers consider it not worth the price.

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173 customers mention "Humor"146 positive27 negative

Customers find the book hilarious, describing it as absolutely hysterical and a perfect gag gift, with one customer mentioning it works well as a stocking stuffer for their husband.

"Best white elephant gift ever! It is what it says...funny!" Read more

"...Everyone I've showed it to has found it unbelievable funny. Great sticking stuffer for someone with a good, quirky sense of humor." Read more

"...I did expect some of the images to be much better but all in all it was entertaining...." Read more

"This was a white elephant gift. Gave lots of laughs!" Read more

112 customers mention "Gift value"112 positive0 negative

Customers find the book to be a great gag gift, particularly as a White Elephant gift, with one customer mentioning it works well as a stocking stuffer for their father.

"Best white elephant gift ever! It is what it says...funny!" Read more

"...prove the book's title true, this book is sure to be a great gift for anyone on your list (yes that includes grandpa)...." Read more

"Made a great gift, but be aware that it's a very small book. Not a lot of pages" Read more

"...I think I saw a larger version of it here on amazon. This is a very cheap gift and worth it...." Read more

21 customers mention "Book value"21 positive0 negative

Customers find the book to be a genius idea, with one customer noting it's perfect for leaving on a coffee table.

"...Grab a couple copies because they'll always come in handy. A great coffee table book..." Read more

"...kind of ~react~. This book is fun, small, and an excellent addition to any coffee table book stack! The images are all fun and of good quality...." Read more

"A decent idea for a coffee table book...." Read more

"...My bf & I looked through it and couldn’t stop laughing. Genius idea. I bought as a gift but I’m buying another to put in my guest bathroom. Hysterical" Read more

13 customers mention "Conversation starter"13 positive0 negative

Customers find the book to be a perfect coffee table conversation starter, with one mentioning it's a hit for white elephant parties.

"...However we the image on page 15...I couldn't help it. Great book for a conversation piece...." Read more

"...All in all a great conversation piece, but be warned you shouldn't masterbate to this book. It is possable though." Read more

"Perfect coffee table conversation starter for those that want everyone to know they are macabre and strange...." Read more

"...It is also a fun coffee table book, presuming you don't host a lot of after church luncheons." Read more

86 customers mention "Picture quality"42 positive44 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the pictures in the book, with some finding them great and hilarious, while others describe them as stupid.

"...Filled with great images that prove the book's title true, this book is sure to be a great gift for anyone on your list..." Read more

"...The pictures are the most random things...." Read more

"...The pictures are 6/10. Personally I think the front cover is hillarious!..." Read more

"...The images are simply hilarious. So random. Most are completely nonsexual and leave you just wondering what the hell...." Read more

43 customers mention "Content quality"21 positive22 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the book's content, with some finding it great and the best they've read, while others describe it as not even close to being interesting and very dull.

"...of naked golden girls or hair in the shower drain, cause this book didnt work." Read more

"...Book works as advertised: whenever I have impure thoughts, I just glance at the book, and problem solved...." Read more

"...This was to make someone laugh, but the content was mostly “meh”." Read more

"...It's hilarious and awesome." Read more

22 customers mention "Title"14 positive8 negative

Customers have mixed reactions to the book's title, with some finding it catchy and explanatory, while others describe it as random.

"...Filled with great images that prove the book's title true, this book is sure to be a great gift for anyone on your list..." Read more

"...The images are simply hilarious. So random. Most are completely nonsexual and leave you just wondering what the hell...." Read more

"The title really explains everything. The plot of the book is as complex as the movie Snakes on a Plane...." Read more

"...This book has really tested my MOJO!" Read more

31 customers mention "Value for money"4 positive27 negative

Customers find the book not worth the money, describing it as a waste of paper and saying it's too expensive for its entertainment value.

"...I would say 10% of the images were humorous, 60% unremarkable, and the remaining 30% were random images that I couldn't find a reason why they were..." Read more

"Bought it as a gag gift and ended up returning it. Not worth it." Read more

"Bought this as a gag gift for a friend but it really isn't worth giving. The cover is the only funny thing about this book...." Read more

"Funny but expensive for what it is." Read more

Terrible Quality
1 out of 5 stars
Terrible Quality
This product is terrible. The book is cut at an angle... it’s not even a full book and the pages do not separate. Terrible quality
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Top reviews from the United States

  • Amazon Customer
    5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious book
    Reviewed in the United States on April 22, 2025
    Verified Purchase
    Bought this for a friend for Christmas. Not only did our friend group get a good laugh, but his wife even told me he took it to work. The pictures are the most random things. His 17 year old son found it one day and was a little disturbed until it was explained that we bought it for his dad as a gag gift. Then, he thought it was hilarious (especially because his parents showed him the picture of the wrestler who has the same name as my husband).
    Helpful
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  • Jason K.
    5.0 out of 5 stars Anything left to say...look at the title!
    Reviewed in the United States on July 27, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    Best white elephant gift ever! It is what it says...funny!
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  • Ben
    5.0 out of 5 stars How Can One Not Love This?
    Reviewed in the United States on January 24, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    I gave this book to several friends for Christmas and they all loved it. Many took it as a challenge and insisted they'd prove the book title wrong (lets hope they keep the outcome to themselves). Filled with great images that prove the book's title true, this book is sure to be a great gift for anyone on your list (yes that includes grandpa).

    If you're looking for something little to throw in with another gift or looking for something special for that special friend, this is the item for you. Grab a couple copies because they'll always come in handy. A great coffee table book (although it would be nice if they made it in larger sized hardcover to make it a true coffee table classic).
    2 people found this helpful
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  • Bryant Paul
    5.0 out of 5 stars Seriously funny
    Reviewed in the United States on December 21, 2023
    Verified Purchase
    Stumbled across this and bought it for $10 bucks on a whim. The images are simply hilarious. So random. Most are completely nonsexual and leave you just wondering what the hell. Everyone I've showed it to has found it unbelievable funny. Great sticking stuffer for someone with a good, quirky sense of humor.
    8 people found this helpful
    Helpful
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  • Jan B
    4.0 out of 5 stars Really funny!
    Reviewed in the United States on March 10, 2023
    Verified Purchase
    Made a great gift, but be aware that it's a very small book. Not a lot of pages
    2 people found this helpful
    Helpful
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  • Ankleshank
    5.0 out of 5 stars Challenge accepted
    Reviewed in the United States on May 17, 2024
    Verified Purchase
    I bought this because I saw it on Facebook and I figured you know what I could use a challenge and I was not disappointed. There were actually quite a few that I could do what the title says and I’ll just leave it there.XD
    6 people found this helpful
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  • A. J. Safian
    3.0 out of 5 stars Thin book, great CHEAP gift
    Reviewed in the United States on May 3, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    So my college friends like giving bull$&@ gifts to each other on our birthdays. One roommate got the [penis shaped egg-fryer [ASIN:B005VJNRR8 Penis egg fryer]] and another got this funny booklet. I say booklet because it's about a 1/4" thick and fairly small. Not quite coffee table worthy. It is small, paperback, and when it came in the mail the glue binding was cracked and several pages were loose and fell out. Not worth the time, money or resources to ship back to amazon. This gift is great because of the initial "wtf" response. It will never be used again, unless as a funny conversation starter when our friends come over. I think I saw a larger version of it here on amazon. This is a very cheap gift and worth it. If you are getting for an older person, might pay a few extra bucks more for the nicer quality/larger size book. The pictures are 6/10. Personally I think the front cover is hillarious! There are funny shots with fruits, dudes in weird kinky costumes, and some boring furniture/still life textures. Again not bad for 5 bucks with two day shipping. What this book definitely needed was a used tampon in one of the photos....yeugh, that would be the ultimate. hahaha
    There are no explicit pics in this book (aside from the cover if you think that counts towards nudity). There is nothing like that inside the booklet. No nudity, no drugs/sex/alcohol, no stick figure sex, genitalia, etc. It's more along the lines of the power of suggestion and how crude your mind is.
    9 people found this helpful
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  • Lew Troop
    5.0 out of 5 stars Sneaky Fun For the Imaginative
    Reviewed in the United States on December 14, 2013
    Verified Purchase
    If you think about the title you'll begin to wonder....what the hell does that mean? Everyone can easily think of images that might cause one to....you know....think of the title but what are the images that could sneak up on you? Like the best sex, it isn't planned, it's just spontaneous. Like the images in this book. Some, certainly, will require a bit of thinking, some you may not "get" at all, but as a clever idea, thses succeed. And if you're wondering, and I know you are, does this hold appeal to persons of all sexual persuasions? Could, say, a gay neoplyte Physics Major at a Christian College in Egypt find meaning in this? Is he or she in any way sexual? That answer your question?

    For a very modest price, and remembering that I'm writing this just before Christmas, the "Giving Season", I'm going to give this to several people. My only regret is that I cannot be there when they open it. And an hour or two later when, privately, they open it again.
    9 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

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  • Samuel
    5.0 out of 5 stars Ideal para regalar
    Reviewed in Spain on September 10, 2023
    Verified Purchase
    He comprado un par de ejemplares para regalar a unos amigos y han dado de que hablar. Risas aseguradas.
    Report
  • Cliente de Amazon
    5.0 out of 5 stars Excelente Libro
    Reviewed in Mexico on August 26, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    Este libro lo compré de broma, pero me enamoré al terminarlo, está lleno de ilustraciones excelentes que en el contexto del libro me hizo soltar una carcajada, pero analizándolo a profundidad encontré una excelente técnica fotográfica y, por supuesto, una magnifica técnica de marketing.
    Report
  • lynn
    5.0 out of 5 stars Fun
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on August 27, 2023
    Verified Purchase
    Great bit of fun and quite a talking point.
    Report
  • I.L
    5.0 out of 5 stars Un must-have !
    Reviewed in France on September 7, 2021
    Verified Purchase
    Idéal pour offrir en cadeau, et au passage permettre à votre meilleur ami de ne pas risquer de s'adonner à des plaisirs solitaires sur des images inappropriées !
    Report
  • jenn
    5.0 out of 5 stars Good laugh
    Reviewed in Canada on February 2, 2022
    Verified Purchase
    Makes for a perfect gift!! Good laugh
    Report